Forgiveness
by yanagihana
Summary: Without forgiveness, there is no future. Implied Gin/Kira


**Disclaimer:** The owner of the manga Bleach is Kubo Tite. The quote used in the summary is from Desmond Tutu.

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It's raining again. Thick drops falling to the ground, forming ripples on the lake surface. He should go inside, hide in some place warm a dry just like everyone. But he doesn't feel cold and somehow he doesn't mind that the rain is soaking through his uniform which is now clinging to his skin. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he should be feeling at least annoyed by the fact that the rain makes his now longer hair fall into his eyes making everything blurry.

"_Ne, Izuru your lips are turnin' blue, that's a rather unbecoming color." _He doesn't need to turn around, the drawling voice is recognized easily. He isn't even surprised by Gin's presence although he can't feel the fukutaichou's reiatsu. It is rather common that Gin hides it, usually for the purpose of sneaking on the victims of his jokes.

He wonders if that's why Gin's here. In the last few weeks he has been the target of endless teasing coming from Ichimaru. It has become a pattern that the fukutaichou would keep talking in innuendos until Kira couldn't help but blush and than get teased as to how pretty the shade of red made him. Or an impromptu lesson in a right stance where hands would linger a little longer on various parts of his body because "_Ne, Izuru it's a lot easier to right your posture this way. Ya wouldn't want to make it wrong, would ya?"_

This memory however triggers another one, the reason why he's standing here getting soaked to the bone. It was a routine operation in the real world. A couple of hollows, nothing extraordinary. As a fifth seat he had the highest rank of their small group, making him the leader. Everything went by the protocol, protect the souls, kill the hollows. Easy.

It wasn't his mistake. He was supposed to take out the hollows and the others were supposed to make sure the souls stay safe. It was a mistake of the brash rookie, who was used to running errands and this was his first mission. He was to stay back but adrenaline and the mistaken fear for a comrade made him rush against the hollow. _'Fear for me.'_ He couldn't shake off the feeling as if it was his fault. He was capable enough to get rid of the hollow easily, so what was it that made him think he was too weak and that he needed help?

"_I am not weak." _He said stiffly, not exactly annoyed by Gin's presence but by the thoughts the other mans presence evoked.

"_Yes, you are."_ This time Izuru was surprised. While he wasn't foolish enough to think that Gin viewed him as someone on par of his skills, the fact that he would tell him so was quite a shock. Gin rarely, if ever showed what he truly felt always hiding behind the smile firmly set on his face. He was even more surprised when he felt a pair of arms snake around his waist and pull him close into an embrace. _"If you can't protect the weaker ones than what makes you strong?" _Kira slumped into the embrace. While the chest against his back radiated warmth, the words were like ice. They should have pained him instead it was as if he became numb. Just like when you pour cold water over a finger cut. Maybe that's what he's been trying to do the whole time in this damn rain. Hinamori's soft hug, Renji's punch in the shoulder, Aizen-taichou's benevolent smile, that all spoke of forgiveness.

However to be forgiven by others means nothing until you forgive yourself. How can he forgive himself if he can't make up for his mistakes?

As if sensing his thought's Gin continued "_Get stronger Izuru. I'll protect ya in the meanwhile."_ He should have argued that he has to make it on his own but right now the idea of someone taking care of him sounded too alluring.

"_It wouldn't do, to let ya stand here looking like a drowned rat, ne?"_ He wanted to point out that the fukutaichou wasn't faring much better than him right now but decided against it. He didn't feel like arguing so he let himself be led out of the rain. However he couldn't help but feel as if he lost something important.

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End file.
